Life is delicate, people can shape it or even break it... lesson learned

Man, I was just watching a movie and it made me happy. I love movies like that. There's just certain types of songs, movies, or photos, etc that just make you say wow, that made me smile. It's an amazing feeling. Natural happiness is great. The kind not brought on by drugs or alcohal as some people might think makes them happy. It can be fun, yes, don't get me wrong. But most of the time it just brings me down. I have realized the things that make me happy and I have to welcome them in. Instead of shutting them out to feel or seem a certain way. I need to do the things that make me happy, and not others. Shit, that's my job though right. Making customers happy while I wonder off and think, I wish I was somewhere else at this moment. It's so frustrating. Especially when your friends expect you to make them feel happy when it's actually hurting you. I don't need that bullshit. So anyways, before I ramble on too much, I wanted to point out some of these things and maybe they might make you happy as well. But then I thought, why? That is for me alone, I shall keep that to myself, and you can find your own when you figure it out. Not that I have completely figured it all out. But in the last little while I've been thinking about that. Who am I? What am I doing here? Questions we all ask ourselves. Just let it ride. I admire people who just dont give a shit. There isn't many. If people said they didn't care at all what anyone thought, I bet they'd be lying. Journals don't help these situations. Especially public ones. I can read between lines quite well and I see through a lot of people. Not always, but sometimes and it hurts me at times even though I may just be paranoid. Hmm, well life is complicated and people make it even more complicated I have learned. Some time away would be good for me I think... or maybe I should just work it out.

The search for the lightbulb waterfall.

Tom Petty talked to me today in my car. Not really, but it'd be cool if he did. My poor little car. It's like the car that never was. I think I can, I think I can. He wants to be a racecar, but can't. He can be a she... a pretty she. I feel like going to bed, but then I don't. So I'll just stay here and talk to you... whoever you may be. No one reads this anymore. So sad. Not really, I dont write in it much. Oh man... I have sugar on my face... gross. what to do about that. Hmm, yeah. I love driving man, cracking out tunes, driving around. Wow. So I was thinking about my room today, and then I thought... does a room actually characterize a person. Then I thought about life and how if I put a room together to represent my life... what would it look like? So I thought about it for a while.. then I thought... value willage has awesome furniture for like $10. A giant couch was like $40... shweet. It shall be mine. And then I shall name it. And put pillows I guess. Big ones. Furry ones. Wierd... that totally reminded me of my grade 4 teacher. I think my dad ripped up my mom's credit card. Hmm... theres like a little piece of visa in the trash. How cute... that lets me know they got along nicely while I was gone. Oh well. Haha wow, I just found giant grey bifocles. Hmm.. there like plastic. Oh man.... I think that might have been one of Sarah's vv boutique buys, with the sequin bridesmaid's dress. Super fun times. I totally miss her. Want her back to watch scary movies and eat lowfat popcorn, that I usually smuther in butter and salt. Tasty taters. Oh sarah and her low fat popcorn. makes me sad. I wanna go to Vancouver and find random things again. You can seriously find sunshine in garbage. Then give it to the homeless people who have crazy skirts and nice parents. I want another car, shhh don't tell. I know mine's super cute and likes to play, but I dont get her all the time and that's no good. Is it a waste of money? Hmm, what do you think? Well kids.. I'm off for the night. Have fun... and remember, somebody loves you. Always. xoxoxo Twitches T- unit McPringle

Are you ready to be liberated? Cause today is the first day of the rest of our lives. We gotta make a decision. We can leave tonight or live and die this way. Meanwhile can't we look the other way? Wanting to live and laugh all the time. Maybe you'll get what you want this time around. The trick is to keep breathing. Open your eyes. I'm straight, enough. I've been working on a piece that speaks of sex and desperation. Things are feeling thin, I know, I know. It's gonna be alright, you're messing with my head. Been dazed and confused for so long. Take a pill, wide awake. I know now things will get better. But I don't believe in promises. I don't believe in compromising my own beliefs inside my head. It almost sounds like anger and almost looks like passion. Somethings still missing. A direct hit of the sences, then you're disconnected. Running down a dream that never would come to me. I'm just a dreamer. Yet, I don't go to sleep to dream. On a cloud of sound I drift in the night. I'm learning to fly but I ain't got wings. Now, I'm free falling. It makes sence that it would hurt this way. I promise you I will learn from my mistakes. But I'm gonna fuck it up again. I've aquired quite a taste for a well-made mistake. But I'm proud, just like my mother planned it. At first I was afraid. I was walking with a ghost. I was blind but now I see. I'm not the kinda girl who gives up just like that. Practiced at the art of deception. I am colour blind. I'm sorry, so sorry. Look at my body, look at my hands. There's so much here that I don't understand. I need the darkness. I left my soul there, down by the sea. I lost control. Streets feel strange. Take a ride, take a shot now. Who am I, where and why? I ask myself, where is my mind?

Moi

Update

Ok so another Tracie update. I deleted my last one because people are assholes. Anyways, this is me, it's me with black hair, it's me upside down with black hair. Yep, last time I posted a picture, I think I was blonde so yeah. I actually have pink and blue in it now which is damn hot. Well, my Christmas holidays were good, besides the fact that I was sick for most of it. New Years Eve definately didn't help much either, it was so worth it though. I'm so damn bored. I don't even have any reason to be on here, usually I am because I'm pissed off. I was supposed to go to Granville today after work but it's pissing outside so I thought staying at home in pajamas was just too tempting. I still feel kind of shitty too from having the flu. People are so god damn stupid at work. I work at a video store and someone came in today asking why their remote control doesn't work. Hmm, ok. Oh man, people these days. Well, just half a year left in high school and then I'm free. I'm so excited. I'm going to cosmetology school once I can afford it. Freedom, I can't wait. Well kids, I'm off. Don't be leaving any fucken rude ass comments, cause well, you don't know me and that's just retarded.