It's that time again...

It's almost Christmas!!! It's amazing eh, it doesn't actually feel like it. I remember when it used to once snow... a long long time ago. Good times. Damn global warming! Anyways, I'm still excited, I love winter no matter what. I like summer, but I don't know, there's just something about winter that's so awesome. Summer is too humid, I feel like I can't breath! Plus, I love winter clothes! I'm pretty much set for Christmas, there's still a few presents I'd like to buy though. I think I missed Charlie Brown Christmas, which upsets me a little, that's a great show. Haha, I'm way too obsessed! The other day I spent $16 on wrapping paper and stickers alone. Haha, yesterday was interesting. I went into Vancouver at 5:00 to see my friends concert, but I never actually saw it. It started at 11:00 so we hung out in Chapters all night reading magazines and ate disgusting McDonalds for the first time in like a year. My friends mom called and wanted her to come home, so I wasn't going to stay all alone in Vancouver. It was fun though, I guess we have to make the best of things! Anyways, my Mom's been nagging at me to do the laundry so I'm out. xoxo... bye!

It seems so easy in the movies...

So, here I am spilling out my problems to you once again. Man, first of all, I can't wait till Christmas break! I've been so pissed off at people lately and I really don't know why. Well, actually I do a little. See, I wish people would just keep there mouth shut once and a while, I mean, I'm either too skinny, or too blonde, or too this or that. Anyways, things have just been irritating me a little more than usual, that's all. I think I need this break, it's time. It'll be good to just relax and not have to deal with school. So, my other issue today is... Well there's this guy (and I'm not gonna mention who or where, so don't bother asking) who I really like, and I can't tell if he likes me. He doesn't talk to me very much, and when he does, he doesn't really look at me. He doesn't even say hi when he walks by, and usually when I do talk to him, it's me initiating the conversation. Another thing getting in the way is that his friend likes me, so you can probably understand how hard this is. This kind of situation seems so easy on the big screen. I don't know if I should just tell him, or invite him out, or just leave it. I wish he would just give me some sort of sign! I mean, how the hell do you read guys? I hope this post doesn't blow up in my face. Well, I'm out!

Mistake!

Okie, there's been a misunderstanding! My hair is not actually red like in that pic (which is a wig) it's still blond and red. I want to die it and cut it soon though, maybe like in that pic, or maybe not.

amazing band...  

Going Crazy!!!

Wow, It's been a really long time since I've been on here (yes Conrad... I am back) haha yeah my computer was really messed before so were getting it fixed, for now we have this shitty one taking over. My printer doesn't work which sucks, cause I NEED a job and I can't really print my resume. Capital GRRR!!! I'm trying to get a job at Jacob Connexion, which is one of my favourite stores so wish me luck! Anyways, my Dad was really pissing me off today, I mean learn to chew man! Then he gave me a foot massage so it's good now between us! But really, he's been so crazy about money that it's driving us insane! Omg so I've been following America's Next Top Model and I CAN'T believe they kicked Nicole off! I mean, the show is NOT even worth watching anymore! How could they do that? I mean she's awesome and she's beautiful! Who cares if she's quiet, that's not an excuse to kick someone off! Know what else pisses me off... Jimmy Eat World, my favourite band in the whole wide world is coming to Vancouver for the first time that I've known about and tickets are only $25 but guess what... it's at the Commodore! That means that I have to be 19 years or older! Ahhh, if only I had a fake ID! Speaking of concerts, I went to Fox Fest last week and it was awesome! Beside getting all beaten and bruised, and having beer spilled all over me, it was amazing! Billie Joe is such a cutie, but that name makes me a little sad. My friend and me are trying to start a band, all I need is a good drum set which my parents won't buy me, sniffle. Another reason why I NEED a job! We also need a basist and a guitarist... so we're a little stuck. Bascically we're just a singer and a drummer (without a drum set). Anyways, my sister is supposed to be home to help me with my resume but of course she's NOT! When I go on a cruise in Florida, they're making me chocolate cake with marshmallow icing AND cherries! And it's FREE! I mean WOW! I'm going to order as much food and drinks as my little tummy can possible hold because it's free! Capital idea, aint it? I am still in caucus about the whole thing, whatever that means. I mean, that can't possible be real! Anyways, I'm a little sleepy so I think I'm off. Nite!

Another pic of me with red hair, be honest! 

me as a red head, you like? 

Purple Lunchbox

So here I am again, spilling out my life for those of you who actually care. My parents alwasy seem to manage to ruin a perfectly good day with just a few words. I can't wait till I move out... freedom! That is all I want. The fact that I'm going to have to make my own food, and clean, now that's a different story. Well, school's going awesome, I'm getting straight A's which is fantastic. Even though people have a low self esteem and have to say "Well, your classes are easy." Isn't that what "friends" are for? To make you feel like shit. Well, that's not the case with all of my friends, but mainly one. That's not the first time, lets say "Bob" has done that to me. This particular person likes to make me feel like shit on a daily basis, yet constantly brag about themselves as if they were God. It bothers me sometimes, when I don't feel accepted, but it shouldn't because obviously "Bob" has some major personal issues. How low can you get when you have to make your "good friend" feel so bad about themselves, just to make yourself feel better. Yup, that's reaaaal cool... sarcasm. Anyways, I saw The Forgotten yesterday and it was great, not what I expected at the end, but an overall good movie. I really want to see I Heart Huckabees, it looks awesome. I love movies that are random, and strange, that's what makes them great! I'm going trick or treating this Halloween, I'm really not to old, I'm gonna do it till I have children no doubt, and then, I'll go with them, it's simple! I mean, free candy, and you get to dress up! I'm going as a gentleman, in a tux and top hat, I'm being my friends date, it'll be wicked retahded, like the Boston Red Sox. They're awesome this year, blows me away! So I figured it out, I'm dying my hair red, yup I'm gonna be a red head, fun eh! I like it because it's different, and it really suits me at the same time. Anyways kids, that's enough from me! Tata!

In love once again...

Wow! Did anyone see "The Best of Jimmy Fallon" on SNL last night? I am in love with him, he makes me smile. The End.

Someone should invent action figures that are lanky and have no superpowers. Then the youth of today might respect people like me. -Jimmy Fallon

venting time...

AHHHHHH I HATE MY MOM, I WANT TO SHOOT HER IN THE FACE! Not literally but ALMOST! So, I'm doing my homework, which I'm really stressed out about, cause it's retarded and I just want to finish, and she keeps coming in and bugging me about not emptying the dishwasher, and then cute dogs or some shit, and I mean I didn't say anything wrong, I just said "Oh", what the fuck am I supposed to say? "Oh REALLY!!! WOW HOW EXCITING!!" Then she's all like, huh, you make me feel bad, I can never talk to you, why do you do this to me, you've ruined my day, bla bla bla, nag nag nag. I mean, does she like making people feel aweful? Honestly I think she does. Two words... GUILT TRIPPER! Somebody just take me away from here!

so alone...

The thing I love about this blogger thing is that when no one wants to talk to you, you can just type and vent about all the shit that's bothering you. For example right now. I am so fucking pissed off and my anger is just building up inside of me, but I have no one. If I talk to my mom (the reason I am angry) she just says "No, I'm busy" or "Not right now" or " I don't want to hear about it". Then I go to my sister, who says "I'm there for you if you have a problem" and she says "I don't want to hear it". I like talking to my Dad, but it's a little hard when he's always out of town. So then, I call up a phone line where I can just vent about whatever is bothering me and guess what, they put me on hold for 5 minutes. I gave up, hence the reason I am writing this. If you're wondering why I am so mad, my mom, as usual. She just loves to make me feel sooo bad about myself in every possible way she can, or at least that's how it seems. She's too stubborn to admit it though, so then if I talk to her about it, she'll go on this big guilt trip, turn it around, and make me the bad guy! I love the support I get! Well it's almost 12:00 and I have to go to school tomorrow so I guess I should go to bed, now that I am liberated. Goodnight!

no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --eleanor roosevelt
nothing can bring you peace but yourself --ralph waldo emerson

Update!

Lately I've been feeling pretty fantastic, like the feeling you get when you have two knives "Two knives, wow this is pretty great!" Come on, you know, The Simpsons. That has got to be the funniest show on television, I mean, you gotta admit. Anyways, right now, everything just feels right, you know. Besides the fact I'm in desperate need of a job, I mean "getting close to applying at McD's desperate." I think I have a pretty good chance of getting a job at Rogers Video, I've been hoping and praying about it. Wish me luck! My knee is killing me, I mean my whole leg looks slightly deformed now. Oh, in case you didn't know I dislocated it a year ago and tore some legaments. I'm going to the specialist on Wednesday, and I reaaaaaally hope he can do something about it. But I figure everything is going to be ok. Oh Oh, know what I want for Christmas, you know those CSI kits at Toys R' Us! That! I want that! It's not going to be a big "present" kind of Christmas, but that's not a bad thing because I'm going to Florida, the Bahamas and Peurto Vallarta instead. I know! Crazy eh! I'm so excited! Omg, my mom bought " Fruit Loops" but they're the "no sugar, no artificial flavour" type. I mean, that is just not right! I'm finished reading "the best book ever!" It's called Junk, it's such an amazing read! Happy Thanksgiving!

Tracie's advice: stuff yourself this weekend, don't worry about carbs and fat, you only live once, enjoy it!

HELP!

For the past little while I've been trying to be optimistic about everything, but it just seems that the more I try to be optimistic, the more I hate everyone. I bet my Dad is the reason for that, he is the most negative person I know. How could someone hate life so much? I mean life can treat me real well no doubt, but lately I've been so pissed off at everything and everyone! It's giving me headaches... literally, I had to go to the doctor's. Why could someone at the age of 17 be so stressed out? I have two words for you...MY MOTHER! I mean I love her, but she drives me mad! She gets mad over everything I do, she's soooooo materialistic and the most shallow person EVER! I bet if I was ugly, she'd drown me and say it was my Dad's fault. And she always complains about everything, and how bad life is all the time, and takes it out on me! I can't live with that, I need out! And I think most of my friends hate me for some unknown reason, which makes everything perfect. A few things are going pretty well though, I have a new fish because my other one died, which no lie, I cried for about an hour. His name is Pillow. My mom hates the name though. But that's her problem, I mean it's not like her name's anything special. Or mine, as a matter of fact. When I have kids, their going to have totally original names. I want my promised Birthday presents from A MONTH AGO! But I'm scared to tell my friend to buy me one, even though I spent 30 BIG FAT DOLLARS on her's. It's not the actual present issue, but what's really getting to me is that people can't keep their mouth's shut when they don't mean what they say. I'm hungry but I dont know what to eat, I want Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner. So, my Dad offer's to buy me dinner and then everything I say he say's no, so now he's not getting me anything, I mean HELLO, don't offer at all then! My dog's are fantastic! If anyone actually EVER goes on here, what colour should I dye my hair, red or brown? Oh yeah, and if you leave a comment on my page, don't be a bastard like "cows are already dead" guy, cause I will hunt you down. When I'm older, I want lots of fish. The End... or is it?

Tracie's advice for today: Be strong little marshmallow

meee!

Madness! Madness I tell you!

Ok so my week has been pretty damn great right. I went shopping at the Guess Warehouse Sale at the PNE and it was MADNESS! I bought clothes... that seem expensive, but really their not, so it's fantastic! Where did I get this money considering I don't have a job... simple... it was my birthday. Another year older as of September 14th. Crazy eh? I'm 17, it doesn't seem like it though, I like to think I'm 5, it's too bad I'm not. I'd like to thank everyone who gave me a present, and to the ones that promised me one, and then forgot, thanks for making me realize how fantastic of a friend you really are. I'm not greedy, but hey, a promise is a promise and if it's not true, why say it right. Another fantastic thing is that I'm finally getting better at driving! It's true, I drove home from school today and actually made it home! So I'm a little pissed off today, I love my friends, but some of them, just plain piss me off. What's with all the drama in high school? Supposedly, my friend is spreading rumors about people, and I guess to make things more heated, supposedly I am too. Don't you love how people can completely twist your words around to something completely different, so they have an excuse to be mad at you. Then they are positive that you said it even though you know what you actually did say. Why do people feed off this madness even though they know it can cost them their friendship. Anyways, I should stop complaining. It doesn't worry me, I know what happens in my life, and I'm completely happy with the way things are going, I don't need people to bring me down for something I didn't even say or do. I'm also pretty open to the fact that maybe one time I did say something wrong, but who cares, I probably misunderstood and it's over with. Know what else pisses me off, people who bump me and don't say sorry, but I guess I don't know what might be going on their lives, someone could have died, or maybe they just ate some bad sushi. Anyways I'm going to go eat a veggie burger now so this is good bye. I might be back on in a bit to complain some more, I need somewhere to vent, it's building inside me. The End... or is it?

Tracie's advice for today: Don't eat cow's or wear their dead skin, it's cruel and just plain grose when you think about it.

at school...

So, I'm at school right now in french class and I'm really bored. My friend Mhark (not M-hark) says: I like bananas. So I thought I'd share that with you. Anyways, I hate this class, it's so easy since I was in French Immersion for like 4-5 years, so now I feel like I'm in Grade 5 again. Woopee! I'm hungry, it's almost lunch, so I'm excited hehe. .....hello to all the kids out there!!! (this is mhark) ......if you are reading!!! DO NOT! DO DRUGS! I agree, hehe. Well I have to go now because it's almost time to leave. The End.. Or is it?

Castle Fun Park

Well, here I go again, spilling out my life in this little journal thing, when I could be doing something productive. For example, I could go out, but who really wants to when they have a bad knee, and can't really walk anyway, plus it's raining. Anyways, I hobbled around the mall yesterday for hours, and was so upset that nothing fit me, and when it did, it was too expensive. But I bought two necklaces and a cinnamon bun, so that made it all worth while, until I spilled the cinnamon goop on my pants and had too walk... or limp around the mall like that. But last night was fun, it was my sister's 22nd b-day party and my mom made soooo much food, it was fantastic, then we went to Castle Fun Park, the funnest place ever! I felt like I was five! I played this frog racing game and could not be defeated, it was the highlight of my day. Oooh yeah, me and my quick reflexes... Anyways, it was fun and I got lots of candy after... and a grapefruit Sobe. The End.


P.S. Happy "late" Birthday Sarah, aka SarHa.

no more summer :(

I can't beleive that summer is almost over and I have to go back to school. It shouldn't be that bad this year though, my classes don't seem too hard, but I am going to miss sleeping in every morning. And I think it will be different this year. I've changed alot over the summer, I think I can finally be myself this year. Last year, I was so concerned with being "miss popular barbie" that I wasn't really thinking about who I was. I mean, it was fun for awhile, but I can't keep hiding myself in blond hair, pink, and pretending to like rap music haha. It's hard though, to be myself, when my mom wants me to be this "perfect pretty little blond angel", I guess it makes her feel better about herself. Like when I mentioned that I wanted to die my hair black, she almost died, I mean, you should have seen the look on her face. And then "the look" was followed by "I don't want you ruining yourself like that". It will happen sooner or later, trust me, when I graduate, I can do whatever I want. I also want to feel like a princess at grad, that's one thing holding me back as well. And I know if I did it now, my friends would laugh at me, because as we all know, friends in high school don't care about how you really feel, they're just friends with you because you're there, and they want you to be like everyone else right, except the ones who don't judge you. Plus I've been hiding behind this image too long now to do anything about it, but as I slowly change, maybe people will realize who I really am. It wouldn't hurt me if they laugh, because I know that they are just jealous, because I will still look good, even if I have black hair. I know this because, yes, me being "wig obsessive", I've tried on a black wig, and never looked better, haha. I'm not bragging, I'm just being truthful, even though, sometimes I feel ugly as hell, I still consider myself extremely pretty, and I hear it from others as well, but if "I" say I am, I guess that makes me a bitch. Even if I'm not pretty, who cares, maybe I'll be happier.

This is me playing around with my new digital camera, I loooooove this picture hehe. 

so hopeful...

Well, I'm so confused with this blogger thing, I feel like giving up! But I sent an email to the site, and they said if I post another blog, my address might just work. So here I go again, trying to make this work! Maybe if I make it long.... hmmm, well, I wonder if this is just going to be one of those things where I waste all my time on. It's not like I do much anyways haha, I've been so unmotivated this summer. Sleeping in and watching TV is a fantastic way of spending time, so when it's raining, I don't feel guilty for doing these things. I'm not saying I don't have a life, cause I do, and don't get me wrong, I guess I'm just lazy. But yeah, I'm going to see if this actually works now, so I'll get back to you at some point soon.