no more summer :(

I can't beleive that summer is almost over and I have to go back to school. It shouldn't be that bad this year though, my classes don't seem too hard, but I am going to miss sleeping in every morning. And I think it will be different this year. I've changed alot over the summer, I think I can finally be myself this year. Last year, I was so concerned with being "miss popular barbie" that I wasn't really thinking about who I was. I mean, it was fun for awhile, but I can't keep hiding myself in blond hair, pink, and pretending to like rap music haha. It's hard though, to be myself, when my mom wants me to be this "perfect pretty little blond angel", I guess it makes her feel better about herself. Like when I mentioned that I wanted to die my hair black, she almost died, I mean, you should have seen the look on her face. And then "the look" was followed by "I don't want you ruining yourself like that". It will happen sooner or later, trust me, when I graduate, I can do whatever I want. I also want to feel like a princess at grad, that's one thing holding me back as well. And I know if I did it now, my friends would laugh at me, because as we all know, friends in high school don't care about how you really feel, they're just friends with you because you're there, and they want you to be like everyone else right, except the ones who don't judge you. Plus I've been hiding behind this image too long now to do anything about it, but as I slowly change, maybe people will realize who I really am. It wouldn't hurt me if they laugh, because I know that they are just jealous, because I will still look good, even if I have black hair. I know this because, yes, me being "wig obsessive", I've tried on a black wig, and never looked better, haha. I'm not bragging, I'm just being truthful, even though, sometimes I feel ugly as hell, I still consider myself extremely pretty, and I hear it from others as well, but if "I" say I am, I guess that makes me a bitch. Even if I'm not pretty, who cares, maybe I'll be happier.