Saturday, January 07, 2006

Are you ready to be liberated? Cause today is the first day of the rest of our lives. We gotta make a decision. We can leave tonight or live and die this way. Meanwhile can't we look the other way? Wanting to live and laugh all the time. Maybe you'll get what you want this time around. The trick is to keep breathing. Open your eyes. I'm straight, enough. I've been working on a piece that speaks of sex and desperation. Things are feeling thin, I know, I know. It's gonna be alright, you're messing with my head. Been dazed and confused for so long. Take a pill, wide awake. I know now things will get better. But I don't believe in promises. I don't believe in compromising my own beliefs inside my head. It almost sounds like anger and almost looks like passion. Somethings still missing. A direct hit of the sences, then you're disconnected. Running down a dream that never would come to me. I'm just a dreamer. Yet, I don't go to sleep to dream. On a cloud of sound I drift in the night. I'm learning to fly but I ain't got wings. Now, I'm free falling. It makes sence that it would hurt this way. I promise you I will learn from my mistakes. But I'm gonna fuck it up again. I've aquired quite a taste for a well-made mistake. But I'm proud, just like my mother planned it. At first I was afraid. I was walking with a ghost. I was blind but now I see. I'm not the kinda girl who gives up just like that. Practiced at the art of deception. I am colour blind. I'm sorry, so sorry. Look at my body, look at my hands. There's so much here that I don't understand. I need the darkness. I left my soul there, down by the sea. I lost control. Streets feel strange. Take a ride, take a shot now. Who am I, where and why? I ask myself, where is my mind?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, I don't know if you check your email, but you said I cant call you anymore so I'm not going to. I just want to let you know that I was intending on telling you today how I really fealt. I don't know if you really care about it, but I might aswell tell you now. I've tried for a long time to get enough courage to tell you exactly how I feel, but everytime I do I get all nervous and choke on my words. So here it is.

Tracie you're my best friend, and no matter what happens I hope that will stay the same after what ever happens whan you read thisl. I just want to tell you I REALLY like you and would love for us to maybe date. It's just been bogeling up inside for a long time, and I hope you don't automatically reject how I feel. When ever we spend time together, it makes me happy inside, and I wish it would be like that more often. I admit, I'm dependent on other people like you said to me that one day, but who really wants to be lonely.

You mean a lot to me, and I never want to lose you. I hope you feel the same, and consider what I'm saying. If not, I'll still be here for you, and you'll still be my closest and best friend...

-Patches xoxo

travel_gurl said...

Ok, first of all, I never said don't call me. I said don't call me as much on my cellphone. Anyways, I feel kind of stupid doing this on my blog and not in person, I just don't think I could get it out right. First of all, I want to thank you for your honesty. I want you to totally understand what I am about to say without feeling rejected ok and I don't want to hurt you. Don't make me feel guilty by putting it that way please. You have to understand, I don't feel the same way and I am sorry but that's the way it is. I have been in the same position as you where I have wanted a boyfriend who just wanted to be a friend. It hurt, but I am over it now and I have moved on. I know you have felt this way for a long time and I want you to realize that I don't feel the same way and this won't change. Some things just don't click and you have to understand that and move on. If you really like me, please respect how I feel and don't go on with this any further, or it may push us apart which would be really dissapointing. I am so lucky to have you as a friend and I want it to stay like this. We are still young and I know we will find people who are right for us. For now, I am completely happy with having you as a great friend and I want you to feel the same way.

Anonymous said...

Yeah... I already knew your answer befor I even started writing anything. I guess it was just some false sence of hope that made me write letters, poems, and songs and shit. But yeah. You're totally right. I belong in the weightroom until I can clean my act up. I just thought maybe something might come up and change what you were going to say, but well, nope. Lol. So yeah... No more love talk from Patches, I promiss.

Thank you...

-Patches -hug-

Anonymous said...

well, i was just gonna comment on your blog. but then i read the other comments. messy. but total reality of life.
you owe me and email.
your blog, dude, it was like reading the lyrics to a rap song. pretty cool.. i cant really do that kind of thing. while the thoughts in my head are jus as random, i try and get to flow.. why am i saying this. who really cares? lol
no but yeah, send me an email dude, explaining your situation.
this is to patches if hes reading this "keep it real man. while not as good on blog, still took some balls. good on ya"
tracie, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE, WHAT KIND OF...im just kidding.
love ya heaps mate.
ill never forget your jaw disaster for as long as i live.
did you get fired or what?
anyways, EMAIL ME! or call me..
-RJ